Monday, April 24, 2006

$50 bets

We had a great time at the ocean. Warm, sunny, gale force winds.

Our room looked directly out onto the bay where there were lots
of birds for us birdwatchers.
We had dinner at the historic Tokeland Hotel. Tokeland is at
the end of nowhere. It was a fine meal indeed. The wine was a little pricey.

We went to Bottle Bay, a superb birding site and got insulted by a
German accented wrinkled woman who's spent too much time in the sun.
"You saw the Red Knots, didn't you? There are 4 or 5 of them. You've
got to be keen to see them. Did you see them? You really do need to be keen."
in this snotty voice. We hate birders.
Mrs Dwelf knows a Red Knot when she sees one. We watched the several hundred
bird peep-a-thon for 30 minutes, there were no Red Knots there.

We had pizza at Dugan's in Ocean Shores which is sort of a high priced
white trash town living on tourist bucks during the summer. We haven't
had a purchased pizza in a loooooong time. It was tolerable but just
too much of everything. We like the simple life.

We stopped at Bay City Sausage at the edge of Grayland and bought
as much variable sausage as we could fit in our cooler: andouille,
swedish potato, turkey cranberry, and much more.

So after all is said and done, the froth and her frothman, and
the dwelf and his dwelfess spent time at or on the ocean
and all is well.

No major laws were broken. It was a good week.

Oh, the $50 bets! That'll have to wait for another time.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Taxes win

Death put up a good fight, but taxes won again.
I thought we would owe money, but after I read
instructions for paying the IRS money --
put your home phone and SS number on your check --
I thought, "Over my dead body! Can you say
identity theft?"

Death perked right up for a second there.
But the internet beckoned and I found a tax
prep package that seemed cheap and adequate.

After a couple time through it to get rid
of my double entries, it kept telling me
we would get money back. And it was right!
I made a booboo and it caught it.

So I hit the SUBMIT button and it looks
like we'll get enough back that we can
buy food on this weekend's trip to the ocean.
I hate long weekends at the beach where
we have to live off slugs, snails,
mussels and seaweed.

Since the baby sis is sailing around on the water,
and we'll be at the ocean, I should be able
to channel her vibes easily just by sticking my toe
in the so-cold-even-witches-don't-stick-their-
tits-in-it water. The oceanic mindmeld, or toemeld.

Well, excuse me now, I have to post obscenities
on the Frothing Mistress's's site. I know, I know,
I'm not really good at the summabitchin stuff,
but then I don't live in Hellwater, Texas either.

Saturday, April 15, 2006


Since the baby sis is out cruising,
I'll be spending all my energy
keeping her blog disgusting.

Nobody reads this but her anyway.

You all suck.

Friday, April 14, 2006

What's so Good about Good Friday?


I'm waiting.

Still waiting.

It's blustery and cold today.

hmmmmmmm, hummy hummy hummy.

Making a Fortune with Surveys

So I signed up with many many many sites that pay in one way or another for you to take surveys.
Some pay $, some pay with points redeemable, some put you into a $ drawing.

Some of the surveys are interesting, some poorly done, lots of redundancy.
Most of them never send me any surveys but a few do.

At my present rate of surveyness, I am not making $500/month. I estimate I am making close to $15/month, or $.89/hour.

Of course any day now I will get an email telling me I won $1000 or $10,000 in a drawing. Does the IRS read blogs?

Monday, April 10, 2006

88 Keys

So I blasted away at the piano on Sunday in church.
I figure I hit about 92% accuracy. Fortunately
with everybody singing, that 8% variation isn't
too bad.
The offertory was a little random, but it was rousing,
so unless you've heard it played correctly you might
not notice the unrehearsed accidental jazz notes
or deredundant improvisation.
I could feel Mark Hayes cringing, wherever he is.

A friendly family 'donated' a very old 3/4 grand piano
to the church and now they have their living room back.
Much money has been spent to attempt to get it into
tune. It's not holding tuning very well, it might
settle down. But after at least 100 years, the
action, especially in the lower registers sucks.

It is not fun to play. I doubt that it can be
made playable without some extreme costly repairs.

Since I'm the main (read - only) player at the moment,
the pressure is on.
"Oh, a grand piano. Wouldn't it be wonderful?"

No, it wouldn't. I'm trying to dampen any attempts
at partial work hoping that might make it playable.
They gotta realize it's macho mucho bucks with some
chance it still won't be ok, and that it's
not worth it.
It's a very old piano (handed down in the family) that
isn't ever going to be concert playable again.

Then we'll have to figure out what to do with it,
because it's sitting there in the sanctuary looking weird.

So I've gotta be the bad guy.

Meanwhile, our little piano is suffering, so it
needs work or replacement. It would be the
better investment.

But regardless, nobody has any money anyway!
The church has had some sudden unexpected expenses,
and all us peoples have been forced to go on
trips to New Zealand, Guatemala, Arizona,
oh the pain, the pain.
And of course cars break down, and I had to get
a bionic tooth, and now Miss Patty needs a
bionic tooth. Sigh.

And we need big bucks to go to Ireland next year.
Don't think we'll make it.

H. Squash Perot might make a contribution if his
idiot campaign manager would have one of those
$1000/plate dinners, but no! He has him out
stumping in Wamsutter, Wyoming and
Bitter Water, North Dakota. No big
contributors there.

I wonder if I can make some extra bucks
working as an illegal alien.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Fungus amongus

Well, I can't compete with the truly ill, but
I can compete with the weird and scary.
I'm turning into a fungus.

Dry skin during the winter, that I'm used to,
and sometimes some naughty little fungus will
decide to take up residence also.

Not toejam athlete's foot or crotch rot, this
is right out there on the old body skin.

An assortment of lotions, potions, and motions
eventually work over quite a bit of time, but this
winter, time passes, and I expect I'll be popping
mushrooms pretty soon.

I'm working on the theory of skin chemistry isn't quite
right and is providing too happy a place for them, so
I'm gonna try a diet adjustment and herbal attack.

Don't discount the power of OIBS!

I've got four in the cabinet that are guaranteed to--

1) reduce blood pressure and keep your blood thin
2) greatly improve your liver function
3) improve your arthritis and skin care
4) kill fungi and evildoers.

Do they actually work?

1) still borderline blood pressure, so it does seem to work
2) this one actually has very good scientifical tests, and yes it does work
of course it helps if you don't drink beer and bourbon
3) also has some good tests, we'll see
4) no known side effects but caution for internal use.
Well, I'm blasting them from the inside out.

What are these wonder herbs?

Watch my infomercial, coming to a channel near you soon!