Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Fungus amongus

Well, I can't compete with the truly ill, but
I can compete with the weird and scary.
I'm turning into a fungus.

Dry skin during the winter, that I'm used to,
and sometimes some naughty little fungus will
decide to take up residence also.

Not toejam athlete's foot or crotch rot, this
is right out there on the old body skin.

An assortment of lotions, potions, and motions
eventually work over quite a bit of time, but this
winter, time passes, and I expect I'll be popping
mushrooms pretty soon.

I'm working on the theory of skin chemistry isn't quite
right and is providing too happy a place for them, so
I'm gonna try a diet adjustment and herbal attack.

Don't discount the power of OIBS!

I've got four in the cabinet that are guaranteed to--

1) reduce blood pressure and keep your blood thin
2) greatly improve your liver function
3) improve your arthritis and skin care
4) kill fungi and evildoers.

Do they actually work?

1) still borderline blood pressure, so it does seem to work
2) this one actually has very good scientifical tests, and yes it does work
of course it helps if you don't drink beer and bourbon
3) also has some good tests, we'll see
4) no known side effects but caution for internal use.
Well, I'm blasting them from the inside out.

What are these wonder herbs?

Watch my infomercial, coming to a channel near you soon!

1 comment:

FrothMistress said...

I have a really good portobello mushroom recipe...