My name is Inigo Montoya

"Although the creation of a universe might be very unlikely... no one had counted the failed attempts."

Do you know how many times I tried to make bread?
And even now sometimes a loaf will go bad.
Flat, dry, untasty.
105 days with no rain in Phoenix, Arizona.
Global warming at its current rate will raise the ocean 16 feet.
This will not reach Arizona.
It will give me beach front property though.
57 of the last 60 days it's rained here.

"You killed my father. Prepare to die!"

Oxygen or bust

If libraries didn't exist, I'd have to make all this stuff up.

Scientists have enough information now to show that the amount of oxygen in the Earth's atmosphere has profound effects on the ups and downs of species.

Way back, 255 million or so years, oxygen levels were about 30%, life was good.
Then over millions of years they plummeted way down under 20%, and 70% of terrestrial species and 90% of aquatic species died out.

Then as time went on, the oxygen levels increased again. Getting over 22% was enough to start the big dinosaur and big animal boom, AND tiny fast animals too like bats. These animals require lots of oxygen to operate: big for obvious reasons, and small like bats because they are so active and flying is high aerobic activity.

Eventually there was another less dramatic decrease, and it sure didn't help keep the big animals alive. Then back to today where it's a comfortable 23% or so.

So, sure meteors may have struck, or volcanoes may have pooted a lot which also caused massive die offs, but we must be aware of how oxygen plays a major role and that small shifts can have huge consequences.

What can you do?
Eat animals that consume way more oxygen per body mass than we do.
In upcoming blogs I'll have recipes for Bat Kiev, Bat poppers,
keep eating chickens, rock cornish game hens, moles, voles, rats,
gerbils, anything small and overly active are oxygen suckers.

Do not eat insects, elephants, worms, slugs, snails, toads or spiders.

Say what?

One of my cybergirls is deep in conversation with some dude in Israel.
If you can decipher it, let me know.
Newest first.
---

yes but a puddle thinks herself an ocean is dearly mistaken.
and a little trickle of water from a drunkard's urine bladder might think itself a chaotic river. and those can be bared and controlled. so why would a bird even care or yearn when the talons of the mighty hawk are cluthing into her back.
TGK


=====defaultgirl wrote=====
I shout, I fly. I can not help those who can not, I can only show them how. You can not hold a cloud. The chaos of a river is not nonsense, nor the expanse of the ocean delusions. When a bird preens, is it self importance or self preservation?


=====thegoblinking wrote=====
your vision is clouded by the waves of nonsese you spout.
they might look like clounds and you may think you a flying.
but again delusions serves only to steer you away from anything worth while. so when you shut the voices out and stop living in an air of self importance then you might be able to fly.
TGK


=====defaultgirl wrote=====
There is no bottom and there is no top, there is lower and higher.
I am flying into the future using the present as my wings. Too many people are climbing up a mountain, or falling down, missing the beautiful view.


=====thegoblinking wrote=====
there is differance between psychosis and delusions
you might be able to fool some of the pepole some of the time but you can fool all the pepole all the time. which means you might be fooling yourself into dreams of power but you ain't fooling anyone who can see stright. as for living in the moment only those who can see clearly and have seen the bottom and climb thier way out can see and know what they see.


=====defaultgirl wrote=====

The shell has long ago fallen off. What remains
may be delusional, but there's serenity in psychosis.
By being unbalanced, I know that I'm always in the moment.
ha.

=====thegoblinking wrote=====
my dear sweet delusional blondie
in order to burst other pepoles bubble you have to free yourself from your own... read back upon how you portray yourself and think hard is that you or you inside the shell you want to be ?
TGK


=====defaultgirl wrote=====
I'm quite comfortable outside my skin.
It's a waste of time to create a persona, imo,
when you can be doing something really creative
like bursting other peoples' bubbles.
Will they claw their way back or just wallow in self pity?
Meanwhile I will dance.
H.


=====thegoblinking wrote=====
you keep telling yourself stories you want to hear...
it's quite lovely how you can create a persona and make yourself belive in it is it not ?
one day your bubble is gonna burst
TGK

WHO'S WIRED?

Coffee is good for you.
Just about everything is good for you in moderation
or in the appropriate amounts.
Take arsenic, for example.
Too much and you're dead.
But a teeny tiny wee little bitty bit is good for you.

"The most impressive reported sign of arsenic deficiency is decreased growth of goats..."
So how are your goats? What? You don't have goats.
Well, there you go.
"a recent human study suggested that arsenic homeostasis is altered by hemodialysis, and that low serum arsenic is correlated with central nervous system disorders, vascular disease, and "possibly" cancer."

Now don't go out there and start taking arsenic, you get plenty
enough naturally (starchy veggies, fish, meat, angry spouse).
I was just making a point that when people
tell you how bad something is, they're poopheads.
It's bad only if it's misused.

I do not misuse coffee. I have one, maybe two cups a day.
I brew my own. But it is no coincidence that the Food
Channel's Alton Brown had a show on coffee and coffee
freshness, and then I happened upon:


http://www.thecoffeefool.com/faq/index.php?type=2&tid=17

I may never sleep again.


Quotes from: http://www.nutrition.org/nutinfo/content/arse.shtml

arse, heh, heh

Four, meme, i don't get it but i'll do it

Four.5 Jobs I've Had in My Life:

Candystand operator at the local park (15, I was presumptious for my age)
Night Supervisor, Green Giant Cookroom (17-19)
An Unusual to say the least Naval 4 years (19-22)(never set foot on a ship!)
Money counter for a company that clearly existed to 'wash' money,
(full story at 11, or buy me two beers)(23-24)
The poetry years
Payroll/HR manager - systems developer (32-infinity)(will it ever end)


Four Movies I Could Watch forever -- way too many:

Alien
Coca Cola Kid, Australian quirky with great music
Don Juan de Marco (see this movie! johnny depp, marlon brando)
Le Papillion (sp? get the right one, it's french and about
and old man and a young girl, you will thank me for this)


Four Places I Have Lived:

Chetek, WI
Beaver Dam, WI
Seattle, WA
(San Fran during the navy)

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:

The Iron Chef
Survivor
Fear Factor
News weather and whatever

Four Places I Have Been on Vacation:

Italy
England/France (boy, do i have a chunnel story)
New Zealand (if there is heaven on earth, this is it)
Most of the US except the SE states


Four Websites I Visit Daily:

intellicast (i'm a weather freak)
okcupid (I have four 'nieces' looking 4 luv)
Communispace (i'm on the Earthlink advisory board, woo hoo!
but they do give lots of free Amazon dollars)
gmail, i do lots of surveys, this is my survey email site


Four Favorite Foods:

ice cream, except peppermint
fresh fruit, esp. cherries
cantaloupe, beyond fruit
rock cornish game hens
potatoes, i don't care if that makes five


Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

New Zealand
Australia
Italy
Arizona


Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:

as a misanthropic paranoid schizophrenic gemini,
do you really think I'd tag anyone?

Atopic Dermatitis

Just in case someone actually reads lonely blogs,
docs recommend cortisone for eczema and atopic dermatitis
and other skin rashes. But steroids are not particularly
good for us, especially on large areas or over long
periods of time.

So I was trying various skin creams, lotions, just to keep
the old skin from being too dry and happened upon
FLORASONE, made from cardiospermum, a tropical plant
used over the ages by the natives.

It is wonderful. Works much faster than cortisone,
works better, and is non-toxic.
A few people might be allergic to it. otherwise,
if you have the itchies, you must try it.
I don't find the smell to be an issue, it's
not strong.

Not every store/pharmacy carries it, but it is
easily available somewhere near you. If not,
get it online.

During the winter I tend to get dry patches.
This stuff really works. It is wonderful.

test test test

Your Boobies' Names Are: The Bazoombas

Get your own Boobie Names

and:

***Your IQ Is 125***


Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your General Knowledge is Genius


A Quick and Dirty IQ Test
http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/

nonsense, that's totally illogical.

A Winter Treat

Someone left a recipe on my desk this morning.
Cooking with Edgar, Edgar's Favorite --
Hargrow's Stuffed 'Possum

It appears to be a real recipe, although
a few key elements are missing.

For example, he tells you to dress the possum
by removing entrails, head and tail. But shouldn't
you skin it also?

The stuffing sounds rather awful, liver,
boiled egg, breads, onion and a few spices.

Alas, the only possums I see are what
are left behind by the cat, which is
the head, the tail and the entrails.

Edgar does not have a recipe for those.
I am not inclined to make one up.

It's raining again. Good possum cooking weather.
But the Mrs. is returning from Africa today,
so I think I'll stick with the monkey au jus.

The End Is Here

Yes, 27 days of rain and it's all over.
The record of 33 stands for the moment,
but it's raining again today so there's
still hope for a new run.

There's a large spider freaking me out
on the wall in front of me.
Since it's climbed up the wall it is not
the potentially nasty biting spider, but
it needs to be somewhere else.

Would it be sacrilegious to swat a
spider with a fly swatter?

It just sounds so wrong, but
it will feel so right.

If you do not hear from me soon,

ah, I missed! Ah,!!

grease!

grease the cogs of gentility! love that line!!!
Mr. well, dude Bode Miller, is just another young person,
imo, who is perhaps overspending his life budget, but
otherwise is telling it how it is.

He's not the only semisober lunatic out there.
And he didn't get there just by genes alone,
he's spent the time to get good at what he does.

So, can we say the same about our lives?
If yes, I say, then let him tell it like it is,
reality and selfishness are on the same side of the coin.

Where's the edge? and who's calling it?
Who's casting scones?
S/He who lives in grass house shouldn't throw scones!

Next thing you know they'll be mocking H Ross Perot
by painting his face on gourds.
Lordy, lordy, where is the Holy Spearmint?

Anomynous, Alunimum

My wittle baby sister could not login properly.
She was Anomalous!

Perhaps the internet is more evil than we thought.
Slowly turning us into anomalies.

If it's chocolate anomalies, I guess I could live with that.

My name is Inigo Montoya

Still here, reading this, well, you're the only one.
Are you lefthanded?
Can defeat ROUS?
Can you stand 27 days of rain?

Liar.

Where's the Afri Cola?

For years I would buy a bottle of Afri Cola,
a great cola from Europe, Germany I believe.
It not only tastes great, but
it cleans your coffee or tea cup better than
anything else.

Pour it in, let it set for a few minutes and
everything is pretty and white again.

Some wacko pseudo-nutritionists say we drink too
much acidic stuff and that's why we are sickly,
and we should drink more alkaline liquids.

Well, I prefer to think that the good old
Afri Cola is cleansing out my pipes just like
it cleans the coffee cup. And the caffeine
keeps my mind almost functional.

The problem is it's hard to find. I've complained
to the store managers but in this day of monolithic
super companies, specialties get lost in favor of profit.

Coke, Pepsi, Dr Pepper just don't do the job.

Depression lives in my tea cup now, dull, brown, stained.

Man looses house to mouse

An 81 year old man in New Mexico finally caught
that dastardly mouse.
Since he already had a nice bunch of leaves
burning outside, he threw the mouse in the fire.

The mouse ablaze leaped out of the fire and
ran into the man's house, setting it on fire,
and poof there it went.

The mouse died but he got his revenge.

Poor but dry

Plumber Dan is back to finish up some old leaky
pipes. How old are they? So old he says one of them
is lead. Fortunately it's a drainpipe.

Dan looked at our plumbing and said,
"Hmm, it's all backwards, in reverse.
Doesn't really hurt anything but that sure
is strange."

The hard things are turning out to be easy,
the easy things (simple faucets) are turning
out to be faucets from hell.

Dan's biggest challenge will be the bathroom
sink drain. Barely accessible and corroded.

Seattle is working on beating a record of
33 straight days with rain. Hillsides are
sliding down, even sidewalks have turned to mud.
But Dan has saved us from wetness
and an overly big bank account.

Plumbing, personal and physical

Home alone, one might as well hire a plumber.
Why not? It's warm, no frozen pipes, they need the work.
Simple leaky faucets in an old house, not so simple.

But our new man, Dan, is like a happy cartoon character
and good at his job. Overcharged me so much that he's
willing to do the extra work for a pittance.
Gotta love a plumber like that.

So now the cold and hot water are reversed on the
kitchen sink, but it doesn't leak.
The bathtub faucets do not leak and the bathtub
will now not fall through the floor!

He's coming back to deal with the drain pipe
from 1793. But he's already committed to the tiny
amount he will charge. I believe he will be successful
in his exorcism and it won't cost me much at all.

The last exorcism I did, well, let's just say,
Mt St Helen's erupted. You may not believe it,
but I saved a lot of virgins, but the volcano
did blow up, so whaddya gonna do?

How to Chop down a Tree

Well, that's nothing more refreshing than chopping down a tree on New Year's Day.
Except maybe making snow angels in the nude.

It is good to remember those important words from the Knights of Ni.
"Run away! Run away!"

When trees fall, no matter where, or who's not there, they do make a sound.
Most of us slept through physics, or have conveniently forgotten it.
Here is an important theorem:

A tree that is 30 feet tall, will fall a distance of no less than 90 feet.
This is the triple tree theorem.

Move your car appropriately prior to chopping away with a dull axe.