So there's lots and lots and lots of kinds of
fruits and vegetables in the stores these days.
Who can keep them all straight? Even the world's
greatest checker can't identify them all.
However, I would ask you all to get off your
sticky buns and invent something better
than those horrid stickers that are now on
every fruit and vegetable.
Here is the lovely tomato.
There is the lovely sticker.
It even has a little edge sticking out
to fool you into thinking that's the
part that isn't superglued to the tomato
and will let you peel it off easily.
One of two things will happen:
it will rip off much of the tomato skin with
it destroying the possibility of artsy fartsy
cutting to make a beautiful tomato arrangement,
it won't come off at all, forcing you
to cut it off, with the same dismal results
Oddly enough, the roma tomatoes
which are tough enough to not have
such peeling problems,
DO NOT HAVE STICKERS!
What is up with that?
Is it because romas are easily identifiable?
I think not.
Star fruit is easily identifiable but it has a sticker.
So now I've gotten the nasty habit of removing
all the stickers from the produce I buy.
If it doesn't remove, I don't buy it.
Of course, I'll be carted off to jail one of these
days for disfiguring fruit, disrobing tomatoes,
and releasing kumquats from their chains.
I shall shout:
"We're apples, not numbers!"
"Free the Physalis ixocarpa Five!"