Getting Chomped

This got booted by Blogger, so it's out of date.
But here it is anyway, because time is relative.

I've read so many strange things in the newspaper
recently, I'm pretty sure I'm not living in reality.

Well, not the reality that would be real if I did
live in reality.

Or the media is not reporting reality. That seems
more logical, but when I asked my soon-to-be famous
philosophy major taking courses at McGill in
frenchy Canada, she tells me logic has nothing to do with it.

Her suggestion is to move to Alaska. That's where
she's from. I asked about gignormous mosquitoes,
moose tramplings, bear bites, frozen drunks, etc.
and she said, less than in Seattle except maybe
for bear bites.

But people moving to Alaska are locked in their houses!
until they receive bearbiting training.

I just don't know.
There's going to be a BIG wind here this weekend.
Mayhaps it will blow my brain clean.
And then I will be able to sleep like the cat,
drooling, twitching, warm and fuzzy,
and eternally waiting for someone to feed me.