Plumbing, personal and physical

Home alone, one might as well hire a plumber.
Why not? It's warm, no frozen pipes, they need the work.
Simple leaky faucets in an old house, not so simple.

But our new man, Dan, is like a happy cartoon character
and good at his job. Overcharged me so much that he's
willing to do the extra work for a pittance.
Gotta love a plumber like that.

So now the cold and hot water are reversed on the
kitchen sink, but it doesn't leak.
The bathtub faucets do not leak and the bathtub
will now not fall through the floor!

He's coming back to deal with the drain pipe
from 1793. But he's already committed to the tiny
amount he will charge. I believe he will be successful
in his exorcism and it won't cost me much at all.

The last exorcism I did, well, let's just say,
Mt St Helen's erupted. You may not believe it,
but I saved a lot of virgins, but the volcano
did blow up, so whaddya gonna do?