Fruit Peeves

So there's lots and lots and lots of kinds of
fruits and vegetables in the stores these days.
Who can keep them all straight? Even the world's
greatest checker can't identify them all.

However, I would ask you all to get off your
sticky buns and invent something better
than those horrid stickers that are now on
every fruit and vegetable.

Here is the lovely tomato.
There is the lovely sticker.
It even has a little edge sticking out
to fool you into thinking that's the
part that isn't superglued to the tomato
and will let you peel it off easily.

One of two things will happen:
it will rip off much of the tomato skin with
it destroying the possibility of artsy fartsy
cutting to make a beautiful tomato arrangement,
or
it won't come off at all, forcing you
to cut it off, with the same dismal results
as above.

Oddly enough, the roma tomatoes
which are tough enough to not have
such peeling problems,
DO NOT HAVE STICKERS!

What is up with that?
Is it because romas are easily identifiable?
I think not.
Star fruit is easily identifiable but it has a sticker.

So now I've gotten the nasty habit of removing
all the stickers from the produce I buy.
If it doesn't remove, I don't buy it.

Of course, I'll be carted off to jail one of these
days for disfiguring fruit, disrobing tomatoes,
and releasing kumquats from their chains.

I shall shout:
"We're apples, not numbers!"
"Free the Physalis ixocarpa Five!"

Olympiczzzzzzzzz. huh?

So us geezers take turns dozing off then hoping the other one
has watched whatever was on the Olympics, then we
switch off.

It's not that the Olympics are boring, we're just unable to
recline without snoring. But at least I woke up in time
to see Sasha Cohen's short program, excellent.

Some friends were discussing whether ice dancing was
a sport, and after much discussion, they came up with:

If you can break a bone doing it, it's a sport.

I think that's overly broad, myself.
I know people who have broken bones having sex,
kicking chairs (at the office out of frustration),
falling in the shower, etc. These cannot be
considered sports.

I continue my attempt to get back in running shape,
however, a friend at McGill working on her philosophy
PhD was describing her six year old daughter's reaction
to her first Poutine complete with a side of hot dog
with cabbage on it.
She didn't like the cabbage.

Why has poutine not infiltrated the US?
Finding fresh cheese curd may be part
of the problem. There may be some
available at the Seattle Pike Place Market.
This could really slow down my running.

Poutine: french fries covered with dark chicken gravy and cheese curds

Beyond Magic BBs

I'm sure many blogs have posted about the magic bb theory.
A fine theory but wrong.

Cheney finally gave an interview to some cable channel,
I just saw parts of it on CNN, but he says he takes full
responsibility and that Whittington was not at fault.

But even if Whittington had moved position and Cheney didn'tknow it,
one of the basics of that kind of bird hunting is
you don't shoot until the bird is above the horizon.

This leads to other theories other than the magic BB.

1) Whittington was hovering above the ground and Cheney shot him
a) because he hates aliens, or
b) he was jealous of Whittington's super powers

2) these quail were not wild birds, they are grown on the farm,
they are not spooked as easily nor fly excitedly like wild birds.
I figure Cheney had Whittington running around the fields
trying to scare the birds up, and voila, he's in the line of fire.

WAIT, HOLD THE PRESSES! I'VE FOUND THE MOTIVE!

Profile of Whittington By Simon Romero, NY Times

"... he has [passions]that do not fit so squarely with his image as a Republican elder.
One is prison reform. While serving on the board of the Texas Department of Corrections
in the 1980's and after observing the conditions in many stateprisons,
he once claimed, "Prisons are to crime what greenhouses are to plants."

He also led an effort to move mentally retarded inmates out of the general prison population
and followed this with outspoken support ofa bill to ban execution of retarded prisoners."

THERE YOU HAVE IT.
What kind of Republican, particularlyTexas Republican, can be anti-death penalty?

Cheney saw through this faux Republican shell and saw the liberal within! BANG!

OK here's the truth

Seems somehow the rational members of our family
have somehow stumbled upon our blogs.
How?
There is nothing identifiable here.
Dwelf, nobody knows Dwelf.
And I only babble about irrelevant stuff.
Nobody even reads this blog.
Therefore it must be the little sister's famous blog.

So I have to either, go underground, or
spew my internal grist for all the world to see.

Oh, I can't. It's too much.
If I'm lucky, Dick Cheney will shoot
me and put me out of my mystery.

Wait, just a minute.
Gruff Ducks is very much out of date.
Let me fix that up, then pepper me with buckshot.

Groin

There's a funny word.
And I thought only guys got pulled groin muscles.

Well, poor old Kwan, class act but eventually
age catches up, you don't recover as quickly.

I have a recipe for organic stewed chicken
that makes one invincible, but it's too
late for Michele.

I mean, I offered it to a number of athletes,
guaranteed to make you super competitors,
and all of them turned me down.

Ok, ok, they didn't respond. Their loss.
Stay tuned. I'm making it right now.

I shall return shortly and write the
super blog. Because this recipe also
improves your mental strength.

After all, there's nothing worse
than a mental groin pull!

LA LA LA LA i'm not listening

Planted two new apple trees today.
Lost 30 buckers on online poker.
Wait, some sucker just bet against my 2 kings!
anyway, plastic bags for the apples will
take care of the MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS! MAGGOTS!

They don't make movies about apple maggots but they should.

Tomorrow we shall bathe the cat.

It's been nice knowing you.

Fluster Buster

Sometimes I (we) make up word combinations and Google them.
Do they already exist? Are we (I) not so creative as (I)we thought?

OR WORSE! Nobody has thought of them. Should we register
domain names? How much money is in my bank account?
Some of these ideas are priceless! Oh my god, we must
run with the idea now before some other slobbering
maroon accidentally thinks of it too.

Last night, I spent an unpleasant night wheezing.
My suspicion is an asian green bean salad i've never eaten before
or possibly something in the other ingredients. I'm not known
for my food allergies. But if it was just an air allergy
the wheeze spray would have taken care of it, so I suspect
food assasination.
Anyway, left my very tired for today. Not a bad day at work,
but too tired to work out, which makes me CRANKY!

Then I rented Wallace and Grommet: wererabbit and the wife
already tried to watch on the plane to Africa, but she's
nearly threw up (small screen, blurpy image) so she's
willing to try it again.

So I went online lost, $30 at poker, and googled "FLUSTER BUSTER"

Parrots. that's all i'm gonna say, parrots.
they're taking over the world.

War is not the answer

So the wife has this sticker on her car,
"War is not the answer".
A knock at the door on a dark night.
A young man, probably 17-19 y/o, asks:
"What is the answer? Isn't war necessary?"
He was polite. We talked a bit.
He said sometimes there's no alternative.

It's an imperfect world, I agreed, and
indeed, there are occasions where unfortunately
violence is necessary to protect oneself, but
it should not be the default way of dealing
with difficult people and situations.

He said he had just moved here (Seattle) from
the south and they very much supported
the military, and was curious about
finding out what people in Seattle thought.

I told him I had been in the Navy,
I have no problem with the military,
but I do have a problem with the
way it is being used.
He seemed to think that was ok, and
he went back out into the street
to smoke his cigarettes with his friends.

Mrs. wife said I should have invited him
and his friends in for dinner and we
could convert them to being
Quackers, the religious society of Fiends.

But I was concerned. He was not a big
guy, not small, just kinda skinny, and
I'm afraid the cat might just
gobble him up on the spot.
The cat gets very hungry in the spring.

Spring? We have not had a hard freeze
this winter yet. It's February and
tomorrow it may hit 60 degrees.
The plants are very confused.

How To Survive Impossible Horror

First of all, Seattle is in the state of Washington,
not Oregon, and from north to south this is how it is:

Washington, Oregon, California

We have hot and cold running water, flush toilets,
and superb summers which we spend naked.
We are a real place, maybe not as sophisticated as you,
but likely more liberal.

So how do the liberals take the horrendous outcome of
the Supper Bowl? Well, they aren't called the
Pittsburgh Stealers for nothing.

Let's just say, the refs weren't a conspiracy, but they
sure better not show their faces around here,
because we'd really do a liberal number on them, like:

"Oh, you poor guys, what stress you must have been under?
How horrible for you. Have a latte. We know you feel as
bad about causing our loss as we do."

Yes, we know that these officials were brought up in
a school system where everyone got an A so no one
felt bad, everyone was a winner, and so when they
get into difficult situations, they cave in to
the bullies.

But we understand their anguish, and forgive them
for ruining our lives.

Yes, if the Seahawks had won, they'd return with lots
of money, endorsements, and raise the profile of our
lovely area attracting lots of out of state visitors
and money.

But instead, we'll remain in our swampy dank little
backwater state, wet liberals to the west,
dry conservatives to the east, and all STARVING!

For shame.

If only Bill Gates had played football in high school,
then we might have had a chance.

Getting Chomped

This got booted by Blogger, so it's out of date.
But here it is anyway, because time is relative.

I've read so many strange things in the newspaper
recently, I'm pretty sure I'm not living in reality.

Well, not the reality that would be real if I did
live in reality.

Or the media is not reporting reality. That seems
more logical, but when I asked my soon-to-be famous
philosophy major taking courses at McGill in
frenchy Canada, she tells me logic has nothing to do with it.

Her suggestion is to move to Alaska. That's where
she's from. I asked about gignormous mosquitoes,
moose tramplings, bear bites, frozen drunks, etc.
and she said, less than in Seattle except maybe
for bear bites.

But people moving to Alaska are locked in their houses!
until they receive bearbiting training.

I just don't know.
There's going to be a BIG wind here this weekend.
Mayhaps it will blow my brain clean.
And then I will be able to sleep like the cat,
drooling, twitching, warm and fuzzy,
and eternally waiting for someone to feed me.

Zim

It's unclear.

My name is Inigo Montoya

"Although the creation of a universe might be very unlikely... no one had counted the failed attempts."

Do you know how many times I tried to make bread?
And even now sometimes a loaf will go bad.
Flat, dry, untasty.
105 days with no rain in Phoenix, Arizona.
Global warming at its current rate will raise the ocean 16 feet.
This will not reach Arizona.
It will give me beach front property though.
57 of the last 60 days it's rained here.

"You killed my father. Prepare to die!"

Oxygen or bust

If libraries didn't exist, I'd have to make all this stuff up.

Scientists have enough information now to show that the amount of oxygen in the Earth's atmosphere has profound effects on the ups and downs of species.

Way back, 255 million or so years, oxygen levels were about 30%, life was good.
Then over millions of years they plummeted way down under 20%, and 70% of terrestrial species and 90% of aquatic species died out.

Then as time went on, the oxygen levels increased again. Getting over 22% was enough to start the big dinosaur and big animal boom, AND tiny fast animals too like bats. These animals require lots of oxygen to operate: big for obvious reasons, and small like bats because they are so active and flying is high aerobic activity.

Eventually there was another less dramatic decrease, and it sure didn't help keep the big animals alive. Then back to today where it's a comfortable 23% or so.

So, sure meteors may have struck, or volcanoes may have pooted a lot which also caused massive die offs, but we must be aware of how oxygen plays a major role and that small shifts can have huge consequences.

What can you do?
Eat animals that consume way more oxygen per body mass than we do.
In upcoming blogs I'll have recipes for Bat Kiev, Bat poppers,
keep eating chickens, rock cornish game hens, moles, voles, rats,
gerbils, anything small and overly active are oxygen suckers.

Do not eat insects, elephants, worms, slugs, snails, toads or spiders.

Say what?

One of my cybergirls is deep in conversation with some dude in Israel.
If you can decipher it, let me know.
Newest first.
---

yes but a puddle thinks herself an ocean is dearly mistaken.
and a little trickle of water from a drunkard's urine bladder might think itself a chaotic river. and those can be bared and controlled. so why would a bird even care or yearn when the talons of the mighty hawk are cluthing into her back.
TGK


=====defaultgirl wrote=====
I shout, I fly. I can not help those who can not, I can only show them how. You can not hold a cloud. The chaos of a river is not nonsense, nor the expanse of the ocean delusions. When a bird preens, is it self importance or self preservation?


=====thegoblinking wrote=====
your vision is clouded by the waves of nonsese you spout.
they might look like clounds and you may think you a flying.
but again delusions serves only to steer you away from anything worth while. so when you shut the voices out and stop living in an air of self importance then you might be able to fly.
TGK


=====defaultgirl wrote=====
There is no bottom and there is no top, there is lower and higher.
I am flying into the future using the present as my wings. Too many people are climbing up a mountain, or falling down, missing the beautiful view.


=====thegoblinking wrote=====
there is differance between psychosis and delusions
you might be able to fool some of the pepole some of the time but you can fool all the pepole all the time. which means you might be fooling yourself into dreams of power but you ain't fooling anyone who can see stright. as for living in the moment only those who can see clearly and have seen the bottom and climb thier way out can see and know what they see.


=====defaultgirl wrote=====

The shell has long ago fallen off. What remains
may be delusional, but there's serenity in psychosis.
By being unbalanced, I know that I'm always in the moment.
ha.

=====thegoblinking wrote=====
my dear sweet delusional blondie
in order to burst other pepoles bubble you have to free yourself from your own... read back upon how you portray yourself and think hard is that you or you inside the shell you want to be ?
TGK


=====defaultgirl wrote=====
I'm quite comfortable outside my skin.
It's a waste of time to create a persona, imo,
when you can be doing something really creative
like bursting other peoples' bubbles.
Will they claw their way back or just wallow in self pity?
Meanwhile I will dance.
H.


=====thegoblinking wrote=====
you keep telling yourself stories you want to hear...
it's quite lovely how you can create a persona and make yourself belive in it is it not ?
one day your bubble is gonna burst
TGK

WHO'S WIRED?

Coffee is good for you.
Just about everything is good for you in moderation
or in the appropriate amounts.
Take arsenic, for example.
Too much and you're dead.
But a teeny tiny wee little bitty bit is good for you.

"The most impressive reported sign of arsenic deficiency is decreased growth of goats..."
So how are your goats? What? You don't have goats.
Well, there you go.
"a recent human study suggested that arsenic homeostasis is altered by hemodialysis, and that low serum arsenic is correlated with central nervous system disorders, vascular disease, and "possibly" cancer."

Now don't go out there and start taking arsenic, you get plenty
enough naturally (starchy veggies, fish, meat, angry spouse).
I was just making a point that when people
tell you how bad something is, they're poopheads.
It's bad only if it's misused.

I do not misuse coffee. I have one, maybe two cups a day.
I brew my own. But it is no coincidence that the Food
Channel's Alton Brown had a show on coffee and coffee
freshness, and then I happened upon:


http://www.thecoffeefool.com/faq/index.php?type=2&tid=17

I may never sleep again.


Quotes from: http://www.nutrition.org/nutinfo/content/arse.shtml

arse, heh, heh

Four, meme, i don't get it but i'll do it

Four.5 Jobs I've Had in My Life:

Candystand operator at the local park (15, I was presumptious for my age)
Night Supervisor, Green Giant Cookroom (17-19)
An Unusual to say the least Naval 4 years (19-22)(never set foot on a ship!)
Money counter for a company that clearly existed to 'wash' money,
(full story at 11, or buy me two beers)(23-24)
The poetry years
Payroll/HR manager - systems developer (32-infinity)(will it ever end)


Four Movies I Could Watch forever -- way too many:

Alien
Coca Cola Kid, Australian quirky with great music
Don Juan de Marco (see this movie! johnny depp, marlon brando)
Le Papillion (sp? get the right one, it's french and about
and old man and a young girl, you will thank me for this)


Four Places I Have Lived:

Chetek, WI
Beaver Dam, WI
Seattle, WA
(San Fran during the navy)

Four TV Shows I Love to Watch:

The Iron Chef
Survivor
Fear Factor
News weather and whatever

Four Places I Have Been on Vacation:

Italy
England/France (boy, do i have a chunnel story)
New Zealand (if there is heaven on earth, this is it)
Most of the US except the SE states


Four Websites I Visit Daily:

intellicast (i'm a weather freak)
okcupid (I have four 'nieces' looking 4 luv)
Communispace (i'm on the Earthlink advisory board, woo hoo!
but they do give lots of free Amazon dollars)
gmail, i do lots of surveys, this is my survey email site


Four Favorite Foods:

ice cream, except peppermint
fresh fruit, esp. cherries
cantaloupe, beyond fruit
rock cornish game hens
potatoes, i don't care if that makes five


Four Places I Would Rather Be Right Now:

New Zealand
Australia
Italy
Arizona


Four People I Am Tagging With This Meme:

as a misanthropic paranoid schizophrenic gemini,
do you really think I'd tag anyone?

Atopic Dermatitis

Just in case someone actually reads lonely blogs,
docs recommend cortisone for eczema and atopic dermatitis
and other skin rashes. But steroids are not particularly
good for us, especially on large areas or over long
periods of time.

So I was trying various skin creams, lotions, just to keep
the old skin from being too dry and happened upon
FLORASONE, made from cardiospermum, a tropical plant
used over the ages by the natives.

It is wonderful. Works much faster than cortisone,
works better, and is non-toxic.
A few people might be allergic to it. otherwise,
if you have the itchies, you must try it.
I don't find the smell to be an issue, it's
not strong.

Not every store/pharmacy carries it, but it is
easily available somewhere near you. If not,
get it online.

During the winter I tend to get dry patches.
This stuff really works. It is wonderful.

test test test

Your Boobies' Names Are: The Bazoombas

Get your own Boobie Names

and:

***Your IQ Is 125***


Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your General Knowledge is Genius


A Quick and Dirty IQ Test
http://www.blogthings.com/quickanddirtyiqtest/

nonsense, that's totally illogical.

A Winter Treat

Someone left a recipe on my desk this morning.
Cooking with Edgar, Edgar's Favorite --
Hargrow's Stuffed 'Possum

It appears to be a real recipe, although
a few key elements are missing.

For example, he tells you to dress the possum
by removing entrails, head and tail. But shouldn't
you skin it also?

The stuffing sounds rather awful, liver,
boiled egg, breads, onion and a few spices.

Alas, the only possums I see are what
are left behind by the cat, which is
the head, the tail and the entrails.

Edgar does not have a recipe for those.
I am not inclined to make one up.

It's raining again. Good possum cooking weather.
But the Mrs. is returning from Africa today,
so I think I'll stick with the monkey au jus.

The End Is Here

Yes, 27 days of rain and it's all over.
The record of 33 stands for the moment,
but it's raining again today so there's
still hope for a new run.

There's a large spider freaking me out
on the wall in front of me.
Since it's climbed up the wall it is not
the potentially nasty biting spider, but
it needs to be somewhere else.

Would it be sacrilegious to swat a
spider with a fly swatter?

It just sounds so wrong, but
it will feel so right.

If you do not hear from me soon,

ah, I missed! Ah,!!