Friday, December 02, 2005

Alert! Carnivorous Squirrels Sighted

We have just read a report out of Russia that a pack of squirrels has attacked and killed a dog. Some scientists speculate that due to a paucity of pine cones, seeds and other squirrely food, the squirrels were extra squirrely and when the dog kept barking at them, they attacked.

If only life were that simple.

Here in Washington State,
there are carnivorous bunnies on San Juan Island. When Mrs. Latent and
I met the Island Ranger, before we could even say anything (yes, this is
really a true story) about how many bunnies there seemed to be on the island
(and we did not comment on how there were an awful lot of bones around their holes),
he said, "Oh, yeah, and watch out. They're carnivorous and will
run up and gnaw at your ankles until you fall down and then..."

Also, they have formed a bunny mafia! Hence when you walk through downtown
Friday Harbor most shops have bunny signs in their windows showing
they are paying out to the bunny mafia.

Now, remember Russia has had some serious nuclear disasters.
It is not at all hard to imagine squirrels (already vicious little
buggers that pee on you when you feed them) turning carnivorous.
Especially black squirrels.

For those of you who don't scare easily and are comfortable with nightmares:

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