Monday, December 12, 2005

Primer on Designer

Before we get into the Great Orange Peel Theory, you need to understand how the universe is constructed by the Intelligent Designers. Yes, there's quite a few of us.

I'm in charge of this universe and two others. Why do you have a hard time understanding me? Because I am a DEsigner, de- meaning remove. Yes, I intelligently keep removing anything that might give you a sign of what's going on. Why?
Why do birds fly, why does ice cream melt, why is there air?

Yes, I'm all powerful in my universes, but even I report to a higher power.

So, here's the quickie course. Big Bang, universe expands, appears to be expanding forever, but it's not. It's like a amorphous balloon expanding out against other universes.
Eventually some of these neighboring universes will be squished to singularities, have their own Big Bang, and start pushing back on this universe.

If this universe gets squeezed by some of them, it may get split into parts.
If these parts are too small, they eventually will be absorbed by other universes.
If they are big enough, they eventually will get compressed, Big Bang again,
and off we go again.

As long as I can keep banging my universes, I'm in business. If they all get absorbed, well, I don't want to think about it.

I have limited control over how this universe interacts with others, but I can tell you this, all that missing mass that astronomers and physicists are looking for?

That's my secret weapon. Just when some pokerplaying other Intelligent Designer thinks they'll squish me and my earthy universe, I unDEsign my dark matter!

Don't tell anyone! We're all in this together.

1 comment:

FrothMistress said...

The universe banger. It's either British or obscene. Hmmm. What to do. What to do.