Friday, December 16, 2005

Thinking Chronologically

I do not think chronologically. Most people do, more or less.

My little sister (see Rabid Mouse Blogger on the side there)
just posted about the death of our father in a car accident
years ago just after Christmas.

I was in Navy boot camp in Chicago. I was the sole surviving son.
I could have gotten out, not worry about the Vietnam draft, and
wandered aimlessly as a cloud, since I was not ready for college
and had no ambition or direction.

I went home for the funeral. Mom asked me to loan her some money
until she could get things in order. I remember not liking the idea
of an open casket viewing. I wanted things to go on and be over.
Then I went back to boot camp. I was away, busy, confused and
had little time to grieve.

I do not connect that unfortunate time with the holidays or time of year.
My thoughts are kept in various files that are not chronological, so
it's is unusual for me to react to a specific event anniversary
(the exception being my last blog post about the b-i-l's wine!).

This is probably why I digress so much when I talk. My brain is
shuffling through files trying to find connections, and it finds them
but not in a time series that everyone can understand.

For awhile I had a friend who interpreted what I said. Now my wife
just prompts me occasionally about what the topic was when the
conversation started and then listens amusedly to see if I can
ever get back to the point I was trying to make.

Someday I'll get back to talking about dad.

1 comment:

FrothMistress said...

Ah. Isn't the core dumping of my brain a high colonic for us all? Hah?